dailymail.co.uk/news/article-Man-claims-shot-Bigfoot
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Tracker
claims to have taken this photo moments before he shot dead a Sasquatch
in Texas... but surprise, surprise he refuses to show the world the
body
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My 8 year old does better work in MS Paint.
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Rick Dyer claims he is ‘going to go down in history as the best Bigfoot tracker in the world
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IDK about the best, but he's right up there with the top Bigfooters of all time, yessir. Shit-fire, son! Hell, he's caught as many o' dem Bigfeet as dun anybody else, now, ya hear?
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A Nevada man says he shot and killed Bigfoot in San Antonio, Texas, causing fury among Bigfoot fans who say it’s all a hoax.
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Of course it's a hoax. You can't get a Bigfoot hunting license in Texas without establishing residency first. Duhhh.
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Rick
Dyer, who runs a website called BigfootTracker.com and makes a living
tracking the mythical creature, claims he is ‘going to go down in
history as the best Bigfoot tracker in the world.’
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That's biased liberal media for ya right there, ding dang! Insinuatin' Bigfeet is make-believe when 'mythical' really just means 'majestic' and 'free'. Like a Unicorn. Man, I'd like to shoot me one of them devil horse Unicorns! Taste like skittles, I hear.
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However,
he has not yet revealed the ape-man’s body to the public due to a
contractual agreement with a documentary crew which allows them to
release their film first, he says.
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Seems legit.
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‘Bigfoot
is 100 per cent real. There's no question about that,’ Dyer told
KSAT.com during a recent Skype interview from his home in Las Vegas,
Nevada.
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You can't tell no lies on Skype neither. That there's Federal Law!
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Dyer
said the body is being kept in a warehouse in an undisclosed location
in Nevada and told the news outlet that he has one eye-witness.
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Is it legal to transport mythical creatures across state lines?
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Musky Allen, possibly a fake name, told KSAT that he was invited to view Bigfoot’s corpse.
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Nuthin' fake sounding about a guy named Musky Allen. Hell, I knew a guy named Peanut Butter.
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‘What I saw was a sasquatch, and there's no question in my mind it was at one point a living creature,’ Allen said.
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I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.
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‘(The
feet) were extremely wide from the center up to the toes and it had
completely hair-covered feet. So much so, it was extremely hard to find
the toes. I had to actually pull back some hair to see the toes.’
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Shit! I think they accidentally shot Dyer's momma!
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Dyer claims he lured Bigfoot into a homeless campsite in the woods near Loop 1604 and Highway 151 in San Antonio and shot him.
The first time he came to the site was in 2009, he says, after a homeless woman called 911 to report a Bigfoot sighting. The woman and her husband were living in a tent in the area when they allegedly reported seeing a ‘very large, hairy animal’ enter their campsite and take off with a deer carcass. ‘This thing was 75 feet away from me,’ the unidentified woman told a 911 dispatcher. ‘It smells awful and devoured a whole deer carcass and then took off and screamed, screeched, and took off across the street. I know you guys are going to think I'm crazy but I'm dead serious.’ | |
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Sterno should not be consumed without a proper mixer. That's just homeless camp wisdom 101, right there.
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Dyer says he saw Bigfoot behind a Home Depot when he came to the site in 2009, but was unable to catch him.
This time around he says he nailed pork ribs to the side of the tree. ‘Low and behold, he came and started eating the pork ribs off the tree,’ Dyer said. | |
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Now I'm dead serious. When was the last time anybody saw Dyer's momma alive?
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‘I
have been all over the world searching for Bigfoot. I have moved my
family to seven different states. I am dedicated,’ he added.
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No, Dyer. Your family is dedicated. You are a fucking imbecile.
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Skeptics are calling Dyer’s allegations a hoax, similar to previous Bigfoot-related claims he was unable to back up in 2008.
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Well that's just like, their opinion, man.
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Dyer and friends said they had the creature’s body at the time and even held a news conference to make the announcement.
But the body was never revealed. 'Everyone should know by now that Dyer's latest "Bigfoot in a freezer" Part 2 stunt is another hoax,' Bigfoot Evidence, the 'World's Only 24/7 Bigfoot News Blog,' recently posted. | |
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That's what I get for starting my rebuttal before I've finished the entire article. I didn't realize this was the same guy. I wonder if he's using the same cheap ape suit.
Wait, what? 'World's Only 24/7 Bigfoot News Blog?' I'm stunned. I can't believe there's not 2.
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Dyer says he will be vindicated this time around when the upcoming documentary film is released later this year.
‘Once this film comes out in late March or early April, then we're going to start releasing photos and then eventually the body,’ he said. ‘(Investors) have paid for all the necessary testing to prove that this is an unknown creature and not a man in a suit or a caveman or something. This is a Bigfoot.’ | |
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Holy Shit, Dyer! How much do you have to pay to have tests done to verify you didn't shoot a man in a suit? Cuz in my county I think you just call 911 and the Sheriff will clear all that up for free. Hell, maybe even get you a rent free room with meals and an orange jump suit included.
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